Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize