i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
