There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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