I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
