Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
