I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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