I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
