I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
