We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
