I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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