I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
A+ Viking dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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