This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm always down for nudity.
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