what day is it and did you see me today?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize