he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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