I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
