I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come share oat with me in your robe
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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