NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
