Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize