WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
