he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
