we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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