Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
