Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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