Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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