ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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