My room smells like vodka and shame
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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