im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
