i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
