Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize