I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
