Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
