Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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