Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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