He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
