Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
