Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
