$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
