I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
