You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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