Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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