im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well you can't waste a boner
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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