There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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