im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
