Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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