He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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