That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
