Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
