i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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