Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
