Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
