Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
