dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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