i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
