is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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