I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
