I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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