Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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