My cat gives me a boner
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
