and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We had to coat check the pizza.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mom said you looked used
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
