Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
