I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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