what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
