He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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