i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
