oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
