i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
