Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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