after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize