Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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