I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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