I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
