Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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