Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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