I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
