I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
