Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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